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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018807">Actually, College Sucks in the Best Way Possible</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaiphTheSwordmaster/pseuds/SaiphTheSwordmaster'>SaiphTheSwordmaster</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF, actuallyoddplan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Fire, Hosuh and Ivu are Parents, M/M, Marijuana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:27:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018807</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaiphTheSwordmaster/pseuds/SaiphTheSwordmaster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jay goes off to his third year of college, he hopes his roommate won't be an asshole. Unfortunately for him, he gets Stephen as a roommate. The two have a tentative friendship at first since Jay doesn't want to have a war with the guy he's living with. Yanna thinks they're gay, but that's ridiculous. Just because they're both essentially sociopaths with violent tendencies doesn't make them in love, right? Right?<br/>That's what he keeps telling himself anyways. What happens when the two actually do fall in love?<br/>An AU where Jay is in college, Hosuh and Ivu are his parents, Yanna is his little sister/wing-woman, and Stephen is his roommate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gavin Ng &amp; Stephen Ng, Hosuh Lee &amp; Yannadraws, Ivu | Zerinchii/Hosuh Lee, Jay Ko &amp; Annabelle Melodify, Jay Ko &amp; Hosuh Lee, Jay Ko &amp; Joseph Catalanello, Jay Ko &amp; Yannadraws, Jay Ko/Stephen Ng, Yannadraws/Lex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. And They Were Roommates!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there-”<br/>
Jay turned to face his younger sister in the backseat. She had been asking if they were ‘There yet’ for the past thirty minutes, and he had had enough. Ivu was taking the family car so they had a way home, and Hosuh was driving Jay’s car.<br/>
“You’re never going to make it there if you keep this up,” He warned.<br/>
She stuck out her tongue at him, “What are you going to do about it?” She taunted.<br/>
He grit his teeth, “I will burn your fucking-” He began.<br/>
Hosuh interrupted their argument, “Jay, language. Yanna, be quiet. We’re almost there, so be quiet until then, please,” He said.<br/>
The two fell silent before Hosuh piped up again, “Yanna, I know you’re going to miss your brother, but there are more constructive things to do about it than annoying him,” She lectured, laughing a bit as she did so.<br/>
Yanna looked insulted, “Miss him? I’m not gonna miss him! Now I can finally have the whole house to myself. I can watch Phineas and Ferb whenever I want!” She declared.<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” He said.<br/>
In reality, though he definitely wasn’t going to be the first to admit it, he was really going to miss his 12 year old sister.<br/>
He himself was 21 and onto his third year of college, and he was mortally terrified of student loans.<br/>
He had spent all summer that he wasn’t working spending quality time with his little sis, and he had grown rather attached to her, despite how much he resented her at first.<br/>
Hosuh noticed the heavy atmosphere and attempted to lighten the mood, “Hey, Yanna. Don’t be upset. Jay will be home before you know it for Thanksgiving break. Right, Jay?” He asked.<br/>
He nodded, “Of course,” He said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Do you have any idea how much I’m going to miss your cooking, Dad?” He said.<br/>
Yanna scowled, “For the last time! I’m not gonna m-miss him!” She snapped, turning away.<br/>
Jay was surprised, “Yan? Are you crying?” He asked.<br/>
“N-No!” She protested, “My eyes are sweaty,” She mumbled.<br/>
Yanna was indeed crying. Shit. Jay had no idea what to do.<br/>
He wrapped an awkward arm around her, “Uh… There, there?” He said, patting her on the back.<br/>
She sniffled and threw her arms around him. He smiled, fighting back a few tears of his own as he comforted his sister, “Hey, don’t cry. Dad’s right. I’ll be home before you know it. And I’ll call as much as I can,” He said.<br/>
“Promise?” She asked.<br/>
He nodded, “I promise. What would I do without my little Wingman?” He teased.<br/>
She grinned, “Wing-Woman. And tell me if you meet anyone cute. I’ll take the car,” She said, stage whispering the last part.<br/>
Everyone laughed, “Absolutely not,” Hosuh said.<br/>
“Yan, if you steal the car then everyone’s going to think your stupidity is my fault. Besides, Mom and Dad’s car is too obvious. Now Mr. Green’s car-” Jay pointed out.<br/>
“Jay! Don’t encourage her!” Hosuh snapped.<br/>
Hosuh laughed, “I still can’t believe my baby’s all grown up. It seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers,” She said.<br/>
Jay made a face, “Ugh. Gross, Dad! It’s not like this is my first year, you know,” He protested.<br/>
Yanna grinned, “Ha ha! Dad talked about your diapers!” She sing songed.<br/>
Jay scowled, “Yeah, don’t forget who had to help change yours,” He grumbled.<br/>
That shut her up.<br/>
He stared out of the window. He wondered what his roommate was going to be like this year. With any luck, he would be bearable.<br/>
He didn’t necessarily want to have to burn down the house of his roommate for being an annoying asshole, but he wouldn’t not do it if he had to.<br/>
If that made sense to you, congratulations. You get a cookie.<br/>
“So…” Yanna said, taking a deep breath, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”<br/>
“YANNA!” He screamed.<br/>
“KIDS!” Hosuh intervened.<br/>
Everyone laughed, and the tense mood was officially diffused.<br/>
The car ride after that was pretty tame. The Lee family sang along to random songs on the radio until they reached their destination. Jay’s college.<br/>
When they pulled into the parking lot, Ivu was already there. She got out of the car and helped her oldest child get his bags from the trunk. Jay pulled out his registration papers from his pocket. He read his room number aloud, “612. On the west side,” He said.<br/>
His family helped him carry all of his bags to his new room. The entire way, Jay wondered about his roommate. What would he be like? Would the two of them be friends? Enemies?<br/>
It didn’t take long for the family to reach room 612. Jay grabbed the key and unlocked the door.<br/>
When he opened it, he found that his roommate hadn’t yet arrived. Huh. Well, he got first dibs on the beds!<br/>
After a long deliberation, he picked the one on the left side. He pulled out his sheets and comforter and quickly made the bed.<br/>
Ivu smiled at him, “I’ll help you unpack, sweetie,” She said, unzipping one of Jay’s suitcases and beginning to put the folded clothes in the dresser.<br/>
Jay smiled back, “Thanks, Mom. Dad, you and Yanna don’t have to stay here. You guys go explore a bit. I’ll catch up with you later,” He said.<br/>
They nodded, “Sure!” Yanna chirped, skipping out of the room.<br/>
Hosuh chuckled and made to follow after her before stopping. He looked his son in the eye and smiled, “I’m proud of you, Jay,” He said.<br/>
Jay got a little choked up at that, “Thanks, Dad. You’d better go. I don’t want Yanna to get me kicked out before I even start school,” He said.<br/>
He laughed, “We don’t want that. See you in a bit!” He said before heading after Yanna.<br/>
Jay turned back to Ivu, “Do you think Yan’s going to destroy anything?” He asked.<br/>
She shrugged, “With any luck it won’t be anything too important. Now, stop stalling and help me unpack! I won’t be here to fold your underwear for you anymore,” She said.<br/>
Jay was mortified, “Mom!” He cried.<br/>
She laughed, “I don’t get much more time to embarrass you. I have to make the most of the next few hours,”<br/>
He shrugged and started folding and putting away his underwear, “Fair enough,”<br/>
“So…” Ivu said, “Who does Yanna have a crush on?” She asked out of the blue.<br/>
Jay nearly choked in surprise, “What? What are you asking that for?” He demanded.<br/>
“Don’t play dumb,” She ordered, “I know you two have some sort of secret sibling deal going on. Spill,” She said.<br/>
He sighed. Of course his mom was able to guess that Yanna had a crush. He knew who it was, a girl in her class named Lex. He also knew that Yanna threatened to gouge his eyes out with soup spoons if he told anyone. Besides, Jay was a little annoyed. He was Yanna’s wingman and there was no way in hell he was going to let anyone else get that role.<br/>
Eventually, he replied, “Unfortunately, Yanna has sworn me to secrecy on that one. It’s not my secret to tell anyways,” He said.<br/>
“Loyalty. Good. I’ll find out sooner or later,” She hummed, putting the rest of his clothes away.<br/>
Jay threw the last pair of socks in his dresser and shoved his suitcases under the bed. There was more stuff to unpack, but that could be left for a later time. Classes didn’t start until Monday, and the day was Saturday.<br/>
He smiled at his mom, “Let’s go meet up with Yanna and Dad,”<br/>
She nodded and they began to leave Jay’s new room. Before they could, someone began to open the door from the outside.<br/>
Jay’s eyes widened in anticipation, this must be his new roommate. He hoped the guy would be better than his roommate last year. Jeffery. He was just about the most annoying person on the planet, and the worst thing was, he never left the dorm. He had no idea how he didn’t get the guy ‘Accidentally’ killed in mysterious circumstances.<br/>
Hey! It’s not like this guy could be any worse than-<br/>
“WHAT’S UP, FUCKERS!” The guy shouted as he entered the room.<br/>
Jay blinked. He stared at the guy standing confidently in the doorway. He had a, presumably dyed, purple mohawk; black hoodie, golden eyes, and most intriguingly, a knife in his hand.<br/>
Can’t be worse than last year, huh? On second thought, he really shouldn’t have said that.<br/>
Jay frowned, “Uh… Who are you?” He asked.<br/>
“I’m Stephen,” He introduced himself, offering his hand in a handshake.<br/>
Jay shook his hand, “Jay. Uh… Why exactly did you-”<br/>
“Oh! Don’t worry about that. My little brother dared me to do it,” He explained.<br/>
Jay laughed a bit, “I know how that feels. I have a little sister myself,” He said, “I’m glad to hear that. I was worried you’d end up being some kind of asshole,” He laughed,<br/>
Stephen replied immediately, “Oh, I am an asshole. But I get what you mean. I stabbed my last roommate 37 times in the chest,” He said, grinning.<br/>
“Seriously?” He asked.<br/>
Stephen just kept smiling, and Jay let himself grin along with him. He might’ve misjudged the purple haired chaos demon. The two of them seemed to think similarly.<br/>
Meanwhile, Ivu was just watching the whole exchange, not sure if she was concerned or happy that her son was making friends.<br/>
In the end, she decided to interrupt their introduction, “I hate to interrupt, but we should go meet Yanna and Hos,” She said.<br/>
He nodded and turned to Stephen, “I have to go say goodbye to my sister. See you later,” He said.<br/>
“Hey! Let’s get dinner tonight! You’re paying!” He called as Jay left.<br/>
He sighed. Maybe he hadn’t completely misjudged his new roommate.<br/>
He turned to Ivu, wondering what her opinion was, “Well. New roommate,” He said.<br/>
She laughed nervously, “He’s… Interesting,” She ventured.<br/>
He laughed, “That he is, Mom. Let’s go meet Dad and Yan-Yan,” He said.<br/>
The two of them walked to the top of the large hill on campus. Yanna jumped up when she saw Jay, “Jay! Get over here!” She ordered.<br/>
He walked over to her and looked over the edge of the steep hill, “What do you want?” He asked.<br/>
She gestured down the hill, “Let’s roll down!” She chirped.<br/>
He raised an eyebrow, “That sounds like a whole lot of motion sickness to me. No thanks,”<br/>
“Come on!” She wheedled, “I’m not gonna get to see you for almost three whole months! Let’s have one last sibling bonding moment!” She said.<br/>
He sighed and laid on the ground, preparing to roll, “Happy?” He demanded, annoyed.<br/>
She grinned and shoved Jay over the side. He began rolling and cursing while Yanna whooped and cheered with delight.<br/>
When they finally reached the bottom, both were breathless and extremely dizzy.<br/>
Jay groaned, “Everything is spinning. Reality is poison. I hate you, Yanna,”<br/>
Yanna giggled and sat up, “Whoo! Again! Again!”<br/>
Jay sat up slowly, rubbing at his head and groaning, “No. Never doing that again,” He said.<br/>
“You’re no fun,” She pouted. Jay rolled his eyes and ignored her. Luckily, or rather unluckily for him, Yanna recovered quickly, “Soooo… What’s your roommate like? Is he cute? Do you liiike him?” She teased.<br/>
Jay glared at her with an expression that would make most people flinch away in terror, “I’m not gay, Yanna. Just because we’re both essentially sociopaths with violent tendencies doesn’t mean I like him in that way,” He complained.<br/>
She raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know, fam. Seems pretty gay to me,” She said.<br/>
He rolled his eyes, “Whatever. He’s way too much of an asshole anyways,” He said.<br/>
Yanna laughed, “I think you’re pretty even in that department, bro,” She pointed out.<br/>
He was annoyed, “I’m not an asshole!” He protested.<br/>
“Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night,” She teased.<br/>
He glared at her again, though this one was more halfhearted, “I hate you,” He grumbled.<br/>
She stuck her tongue out at him, “I hate you too, asshole. Now let’s go back to Mom and Dad. They’re probably wondering if you threw up,” She said.<br/>
Jay got up slowly, careful not to fall from his remaining dizziness. Yanna wasn’t as cautious. She attempted to shoot straight to her feet, but as soon as she got up, she swayed on her feet.<br/>
“Whoa!” She yelped as she crashed to the ground.<br/>
Jay could’ve caught her, but he figured that she needed to learn not to be so reckless. Instead, he watched as she hit the ground.<br/>
She glared up at him, “You could've caught me,” She grumbled.<br/>
“You could’ve been more careful,” He countered.<br/>
She turned her glare to the grass, knowing he was right, “Sorry,” She mumbled.<br/>
He chuckled, “Think before you act next time, knucklehead. Here,” He offered her a hand to help her up, which she reluctantly accepted.<br/>
He pulled his sister to her feet, and this time she stayed there.<br/>
“Let’s go,” He said, and the two headed up the hill.<br/>
“Hey,” Yanna stopped halfway up the hill, looking down.<br/>
Jay looked back in confusion, “Yeah?”<br/>
“I love you, bro,” She admitted.<br/>
He chuckled, surprised, “Man, how hard was that to admit?” He asked.<br/>
“Shut up!” She snapped, “I’m gonna miss you, you butt!”<br/>
His expression softened, “I love you too, Yan-Yan. And I’ll call you whenever I can. I’m going to miss my little wingman,” He said.<br/>
“Wing-Woman,” She corrected.<br/>
He rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Let’s go. Mom and Dad are waiting,”<br/>
The two made their way up the hill and met Hosuh and Ivu.<br/>
Hosuh waved at the two, “There you two are! It’s getting late. I think it’s about time we headed back,” He said.<br/>
Yanna clung to Jay’s hand, “Already?” She asked.<br/>
Ivu smiled sadly, “Sorry, Honey. Your school starts in a few days too. We’ve got to get home,” She said.<br/>
Jay smiled, “Mom’s right, Yan-Yan. I’ll call you tomorrow night, how’s that?” He asked.<br/>
She glared at him, “You’d better,” She said.<br/>
“I’ll walk you guys to the car,” He said. When Yanna still didn’t look convinced, he added, “I’ll give you a piggyback ride,”<br/>
Her eyes widened.<br/>
Five seconds later, the family was making their way back to where Ivu parked the family car. She was leading the way, Hosuh followed close behind, and behind him Jay was walking with Yanna on his back.<br/>
They made the most of their last few minutes together, laughing, joking, and being a family. All too soon, however, they reached the car.<br/>
Hosuh was the first to enter. He gave Jay a bear hug, “I love you, Jay,” He said.<br/>
Jay smiled, “I love you too, Dad,”<br/>
He got in the car and started it. Ivu was next. She smiled and gave Jay a hug, “Make sure you get enough sleep. I know how stressful school can be, but don’t forget to eat either. Be nice to your roommate too. No burning his house down. Also, water. Make sure you drink plenty of-” She was cut off in the middle of her Mom lecture.<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, “Mom, you don’t need to give me this lecture every year. I know how to keep myself alive, thank you,”<br/>
She raised an eyebrow, “Then explain why every time you come home you look like a malnourished raccoon,” She demanded.<br/>
He hugged his mom, “I promise I’ll be fine, Mom. I’ll call when I have the time,” He said.<br/>
She sighed, “Alright. Yanna, it’s time to go,” She said.<br/>
Yanna wrapped her arms tighter around Jay’s neck, “Just a few more minutes?” She pleaded.<br/>
Ivu sighed, “Sweetheart, we need to get home before it gets too dark,” She said.<br/>
Jay smiled, “Come on, Yan-Yan. You need to get home,” He said gently, trying to pry his sister off of his back.<br/>
“Never. I will become a lone wanderer, a drifting vagabond,” She declared.<br/>
Ivu chuckled, “You still have a bedtime, Miss Vagabond,” She reminded her, “Which we’re already passing at this rate,”<br/>
“I’ll call you first thing tomorrow, okay?” Jay asked, really wanting to get his sister off of his back.<br/>
After a long minute, she reluctantly agreed, “Okay,” She said, letting go of Jay’s neck. He bent down and she hopped on the ground.<br/>
She gave Jay one last hug, “Don’t forget to call,” She said.<br/>
“I won’t,” He promised.<br/>
She let go and got in the car. Ivu gave Jay one last hug before joining her husband and daughter. Jay waved as the car left, not turning away until he couldn’t see it anymore.<br/>
Well, now it’s official. Jay's back in school. And this year is sure to be the most interesting one yet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh My God, They Were Roommates.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Stephen is a... Character</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jay knocked on the door of room 612, Stephen answered almost immediately, “There you are, roommate!” He said, cheerfully.<br/>
Jay gave him a strained smile, “Jay,” He reminded him.<br/>
“Whatever. Anyways, I was wondering if you knew any good places to eat. I’m starving!” He dramatically declared.<br/>
Jay grinned. He actually knew the answer to that question, “Well, there’s a pretty good place a few blocks from here. Have you ever heard of Della’s Diner?” He asked.<br/>
Stephen shook his head.<br/>
Jay nodded understandingly, “Not many people have. It’s a small place, but the food’s good. Do you want to go?” He asked.<br/>
He shrugged, “Sounds good to me,” He said, “Let’s go!”<br/>
Jay pointed to the knife in his hand, “You can’t just carry that in the open,” He pointed out.<br/>
Stephen looked down, as if just noticing the weapon, “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about my knife! You’re right, it’d be disrespectful. Knives are too informal,” He decided, setting the knife down on his night stand.<br/>
“Now, let’s go!” He said.<br/>
Jay nodded, “Yeah, I’m hungry,” He said.<br/>
As the two walked out of their room and eventually made their way off campus, Jay noticed Stephen staring at him the entire time.<br/>
“What?” He eventually, nonchalantly, asked.<br/>
“Don’t I scare you?” He asked bluntly.<br/>
Jay shrugged, “Not particularly, why?” He asked.<br/>
He frowned, “Really? But what about all of the stabby stab stab stuff? Does none of that freak you out?” He asked in disbelief.<br/>
Jay shook his head, “Nah,” He said.<br/>
Stephen was beside himself, “Why?” He demanded.<br/>
“Because I myself am a sociopath,” He answered calmly.<br/>
Stephen stopped in his tracks, “Really?” He asked.<br/>
Jay nodded, “Yup,” He said, popping the P.<br/>
“Huh. That’s cool… Sociopath,” He said, giving Jay finger guns.<br/>
He shot him a glare, “Don’t call me that,” He said shortly, “I mean, sociopath might be a little dramatic a diagnosis. I only got every single question right on one ‘Are you a Sociopath’ quiz,” He pointed out.<br/>
“Um, sure. Anyways, I hate to ask, but I’m a little light on cash right now, so…” He trailed off.<br/>
He rolled his eyes, “I’ll pay for dinner,” He said.<br/>
Stephen grinned, “You’re the best, Sociopath! Now how much further is this diner?” He asked.<br/>
Jay gritted his teeth, “Jay, please,” He reminded him.<br/>
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m hungry, man. How much farther?” He asked.<br/>
He rolled his eyes, “Not much longer, don’t worry,” He reassured him.<br/>
Stephen was like a child. An edgy, immature, somewhat terrifying at times child.<br/>
And Jay had to live with him.<br/>
Fan-fucking-tastic.<br/>
He forced a smile as the two entered the diner. He really didn’t need his roommate to hate him. That would make his school year a living hell. He would just do what he always did and push his emotions down to look at the situation logically.<br/>
Perfect.<br/>
They sat down at a table in the corner and a waitress met them almost immediately.<br/>
“Hi! My name is Samantha, and I’m going to be taking care of you guys today,” She said cheerfullly.<br/>
Samantha had blonde, curly, chin length hair, large green eyes, and a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. She was, for a lack of a better term, adorable.<br/>
Stephen seemed to think so as well, judging by the fact that he was currently struggling to remember how to speak English.<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, feeling a stab of annoyance at his behavior, “Hi. Two waters to start with, please,” He said.<br/>
She nodded, “I’ll get those for you two right away!” She said.<br/>
As soon as she was gone, Stephen turned to Jay, “Wow,” He said.<br/>
“Wow?” He echoed.<br/>
“Wow,” He agreed, “Isn’t she perfect?” He sighed.<br/>
Jay snorted. He couldn’t help himself. That girl was about the polar opposite of his own type. I guess Stephen has a thing for cute blondes?<br/>
He shrugged, “Not really. No different than any other female I’ve seen today,” He said.<br/>
Stephen stared at him in disbelief, “Are you serious? Whatever. I’ve got to get her number,” He said.<br/>
Jay raised an eyebrow, “How are you planning to do that? Also, what do you want to eat? Go easy on my poor, broke college kid wallet,” He joked.<br/>
Stephen, “I was thinking maybe a bacon cheeseburger,” He said.<br/>
Jay checked the menu, twelve dollars. That wasn’t so bad. He was going to get his usual, grilled cheese with three kinds of cheese and chips.<br/>
“Okay,” He agreed to that menu decision.<br/>
Stephen’s eyes lit up, “And I have a plan for Samantha, don’t you worry,” He said.<br/>
“What is it?” Jay asked, mildly curious.<br/>
He grinned evily, “You’ll just have to wait and see,” He said.<br/>
He rolled his eyes. So Stephen didn’t have a plan, that much was for sure. Now he was interested to see how this played out. He considered warning Stephen against whatever he was going to do, but ultimately decided against it. This was going to be fun to watch.<br/>
When Samantha returned with their drinks, Stephen seemed to decide now was the time to strike.<br/>
He cleared his throat, “Uh… Hi. I’m Stephen,” He said.<br/>
He already sounded like an idiot.<br/>
Samantha smiled, “It’s nice to meet you,” She said.<br/>
“Hey, do you uh… Do you come here often?” He asked.<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, She works here dumbass, He thought.<br/>
She giggled, clearly thinking he was joking, “Do you?” She returned, “I don’t think I’ve seen your face before. I think I would remember such a cute one,” She said.<br/>
He blushed, but managed to say, “Um- No. This is my first time coming here. Jay- Actually introduced me to this place,” He said.<br/>
Jay smiled at the waitress, “Hi. I don’t believe I’ve seen you before either. How long have you been working here?” He asked.<br/>
She smiled, “I started working here this summer. I’ve got student loans to pay off, you know,” She said.<br/>
Jay groaned, “Oh god, don’t remind me. Student loans, bad!” He declared.<br/>
She laughed, and Jay awkwardly realized that he kinda interrupted Stephen’s poor but admittedly valiant attempt to flirt with the waitress, “Uh… Anyways, we should probably order,” He said.<br/>
She nodded and pulled out a notepad, “What would you two gentleman like this evening?” She asked.<br/>
Stephen opened his mouth, and Jay shot him a warning glare.<br/>
Don’t say something stupid, don’t you dare say something stupid, I already have a fucking headache, don’t you dare make me save you from saying something stupid.<br/>
Stephen ignored him, “Do you do side substitutions here?” He asked.<br/>
She frowned, “I’m afraid we’re not allowed,” She said.<br/>
“Oh. That’s a shame. Because I’d like a bacon cheeseburger with your number on the side,” He said.<br/>
Jay had to physically restrain himself from facepalming. What an idiot.<br/>
She smiled teasingly, “I’ll see if I can make an exception cutie,” She said, writing down his order on the notepad.<br/>
Stephen turned about sixteen different shades of red at that comment, but Jay was too shocked to notice. How the hell had he not crashed and burned yet?<br/>
He barely noticed that Samantha was ready to take his order until she tapped him on the shoulder, “Excuse me, sir?” She asked.<br/>
“Huh? Oh! Sorry. I’ll, uh- I’ll have a grilled cheese with chips on the side,” He said.<br/>
She smiled, “I’ll get those orders in for you two right away!”<br/>
As soon as she left, Jay rounded, “Did that just go well?” He asked in disbelief.<br/>
Stephen was annoyed, “You don’t need to sound so surprised,” He pouted.<br/>
“Those pick up lines were mediocre at best,” Jay persisted, “And yet she seems to be interested in you,” He said.<br/>
He glared, “How dare you insult my pick up lines! Stephen is the best at romance,” He declared.<br/>
Jay raised an eyebrow, “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?” He asked.<br/>
Stephen flipped him off, “Fuck you!”<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, “Real mature. Now let’s stop arguing. There’s no point,” He said.<br/>
Stephen nodded, “Yeah. You’re probably right,” He conceded.<br/>
An awkward silence fell, which Stephen decided to break by stacking jelly containers in pyramids and knocking them over.<br/>
“What are you doing?” Jay asked, bewildered.<br/>
He shrugged, “I’m bored,” He said, knocking down another jelly pyramid.<br/>
After he did so, he opened the container that had once served as the capstone and began to eat the grape jelly inside like a child.<br/>
He wrinkled his nose, “Seriously?” He said.<br/>
Stephen looked offended, “What? I’m hungry,” He said, eating more of the jelly.<br/>
Great. He had a roommate that ate straight jelly and failed at flirting with random waitresses. This was certainly going to be an interesting year.<br/>
Well, not necessarily fail at flirting. Samantha seemed to be responding rather well. He mused.<br/>
Maybe there’s something appealing about Stephen that I just haven’t noticed. He thought. I guess to some people, Stephen’s purple hair might’ve seemed aesthetically pleasing. Or maybe it was his amber colored eyes, which were so rare in people that they might attract interest. Maybe his roommate was more attractive than Jay initially perceived.<br/>
Then he looked at Stephen, who was licking grape jelly off of his fingers.<br/>
Definitely not. That girl was clearly an anomaly. He decided.<br/>
Thankfully, he managed to convince the purple haired menace not to eat any more jelly.<br/>
Finally, Samantha came with their food. Good. He was starving.<br/>
“I apologize for the wait,” She said, smiling apologetically.<br/>
Stephen waved her off, “No problem. How about that, uh… Substitution?” He asked hopefully.<br/>
She winked at him as she handed Jay his plate, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” She asked, handing Stephen his plate and leaving.<br/>
Stephen was deathly quiet, it was almost concerning, “What?” Jay asked.<br/>
He looked up to see his roommate staring, clearly starstruck, at his plate. It had his Bacon Cheeseburger, of course, with a phone number written on the plate with ketchup.<br/>
He looked up in awe, “I think I’ve found my soulmate,” He said.<br/>
Jay rolled his eyes, “Shut up and eat, Romeo. Make sure you write down her number so you don’t forget,” He said, “I think she’s one of the rare few who would actually fall for your cheesy pick up lines,”<br/>
Stephen flipped him off lazily, “Oh, fuck off. I don’t see you having any luck with the ladies,” He said.<br/>
Jay sighed, “I’m not interested in a relationship now, thanks,” He said.<br/>
“Oh sure you’re not. Whatever. Let’s eat!” He said, digging into his burger.<br/>
He noticed Stephen’s phone was on the table, and squinted to read the new contact in his phone, Future Girlfriend followed by various different heart emojis.<br/>
He rolled his eyes and dug into his own meal.<br/>
When the two of them were done eating, Samantha brought over their bill. She left without a word, but the receipt said, Call me! So that was probably a good sign.<br/>
Jay paid her in cash, and left a good tip per Stephen’s request. Then, without another word, the two left the establishment.<br/>
The walk back to their dorm room was mostly silent, since Stephen was too busy deliberating over when the best time would be to text his new love interest and Jay didn’t care enough to ask.<br/>
Instead he looked around and found a ‘Help Wanted’ sign on a nearby McDonald’s. Well, since Jay no longer had a job here he was going to need a new one.<br/>
He pointed it out, “Hey. McDonalds is hiring. Do you need a job?” He asked.<br/>
Stephen’s eyes widened, “If I work at McDonalds, does that mean I get free access to the deep frier?” He asked.<br/>
Jay stared at him, “What? Why would you- Nevermind. We can apply when we get home,” He said, reading the rest of the application information.<br/>
Stephen nodded and they went on their way again.<br/>
It didn’t take them long to get back, and when they did. Jay opened the door and collapsed on his bed, ignoring Stephen’s attempts to converse. He was way too tired for that shit.<br/>
He thought about the events that just transpired and came to one, logical conclusion.<br/>
Stephen was a… Character.<br/>
This school year is going to be fun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, Stephen's pickup lines actually work for once. What do you know? If you haven't already guessed, this fic is a slow burn. Have fun!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Joe's a Drug Dealer, Ann's A Savage, Dan's an Idiot, And Jay is Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next three days passed by in a flash. Stephen and Jay both applied for work, attended interviews, and successfully got a job at the local McDonalds. Stephen was also chatting more with Samantha, and the two were planning a date on the following Friday when she was next off.<br/>	Jay was now standing in front of the door for his first class of the day, Calculus.<br/>	He felt nervous, though he quickly scolded himself for being ridiculous. This was hardly his first rodeo. He was in year three of college for god’s sakes.<br/>	He took a deep breath and opened the door, walking into the classroom and looking around. He didn’t see many open spots, that’s what you get for cutting it this close when it comes to being on time for class.<br/>	Not enjoying the awkwardness of the situation, he picked the first spot he could see. <br/>	It was somewhat in the back of the classroom. The boy he sat next to was friendly looking. He had curly brown hair, freckles, brown eyes, and glasses. <br/>	Cute. He thought before he could stop himself. No. This kid wasn’t his type. He smiled, “Hi. I’m Jay,” He said.<br/>	“Joe!” The guy introduced himself eagerly, sticking out his hand for him to shake.<br/>	He accepted the handshake with a smile. At least someone he met this year was nice.<br/>	Shortly after the two introduced themselves, their teacher entered the classroom.<br/>	He introduced himself as Mr. Brown, and began to talk a bit about what they would be learning this year. He pulled out a notebook in preparation to take notes. <br/>	As Mr. Brown began the lecture, Jay was surprised to find that he already knew what he was saying. He took a few notes here and there, but mainly resolved to review the lecture online later if he was confused.<br/>	He turned to Joe, who also seemed to be having an easy time with things. He smiled and whispered, “Hey. What are you majoring in?”<br/>	Jay answered in an equally soft tone, “Mining Engineering,” He replied.<br/>	His eyes lit up, “Cool! I’m majoring in Graphic Design. What year are you?” He asked.<br/>	“Three,” He said.<br/>	“Me too! We have so much in common,” Joe seemed delighted to be making a friend.<br/>	Jay smiled, “So, what’s your roommate like? Mine’s kind of an asshole,” He said.<br/>	Joe was sympathetic, “Oh, that sucks. I’m actually living off campus with a friend, his name’s James. That must stress you out a lot, living with someone like that,” He said.<br/>	Jay raised an eyebrow, not liking where this conversation was going, “Yeah?” He said, though it came out as more of a question.<br/>	“I, uh… Have some stuff that could help you with that, if you want. You’re a friend, so I could give you a discount. Here’s my number,” He said, handing Jay a piece of paper.<br/>	He couldn’t believe it. All this time he thought Joe was just a nice guy, but in reality he was a drug dealer looking to get him hooked!<br/>	Jay sighed, “Thanks, but I’m not interested. What kind of drugs do you deal anyways?” He asked.<br/>	Joe shrugged, “Nothing dangerous. Mainly weed,” He said.<br/>	He nodded, “Right, if you were just talking to me because you want to make a quick buck, I have news for you, buddy: I’m not a stoner,” He said.<br/>	Joe looked hurt, “I would never do something like that! I really do think you’re a nice person. I was just offering if you were interested,” He explained.<br/>	Jay wasn’t fully convinced, but he decided to take his word for it. After all, with a face like that, he couldn’t be pure evil. He looked like Deku from BNHA, for crying out loud.<br/>	Eventually he took the guy’s number, “I’m not interested in Marijuana, thank you, but maybe we could hang out sometimes,” He said.<br/>	Joe smiled, “That sounds good. Friends?” He asked.<br/>	Jay returned the smile and said, “Friends,”<br/>	The two fell into a comfortable silence as Jay slipped Joe’s number into his pocket. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but he shrugged off his concern. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?<br/>	Once class ended, the rest of the day went pretty fast. Before he knew it, he was heading back to his dorm room. He went to open the door, but faltered. He heard giggling and a very much female voice behind the door. <br/>	Samantha. It had to be. He sighed and turned around. No way he was going to walk in on the two of them doing God knows what. <br/>	Instead, he decided to head to the library. It didn’t take him long to reach it, since it was actually relatively close to his dorm. He entered the large room and took a second to take it all in.<br/>	The walls were lined top to bottom with books, and there were tons of computers and chess tables littered around. He smiled. The library had become one of his favorite places in the building last year.<br/>	He sat down at a chess table and began playing.<br/>	It may have seemed weird to any passers by, but since he often didn’t have anyone to play with him, he learned to play a whole game of chess by himself.<br/>	It was difficult, thinking logically for both sides, but he actually enjoyed the challenge.<br/>	He was so immersed in his solo game of chess that he nearly jumped out of his skin when someone approached him.<br/>	“Uh, Hi. What are you doing?” A girl with pink hair tied up in pigtails asked him.<br/>	He shot her an irritated glare, “Playing chess. What’s it to you?” He asked shortly.<br/>	She raised an eyebrow, “Playing chess by yourself. I bet you get laid a lot,” She said.<br/>	He really wasn’t in the mood for snark, “Big talk for someone who barely reaches my shoulders,” He pointed out to the tiny girl.<br/>	She glared at him, “You wouldn’t,” She challenged.<br/>	Jay raised an eyebrow, “Wouldn’t I? Go away. I’m trying to play a game here,” He said, turning back to his chess board.<br/>	The girl sighed dramatically, “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. My name’s Ann. Who are you?” She asked.<br/>	“Jay,” He said, “What do you want?”<br/>	“Well, I figured since you aren’t currently playing with anyone, I could ask to join you,” She said. <br/>	He shrugged, “Do what you want. It’s a free country,” He said. <br/>	It was a shame, really. His independent game ruined because of some annoying girl.<br/>	Nevertheless, he reset the chess board. He was interested in playing a game with her, he couldn’t lie. She had gotten on his nerves, so crushing her in a game of chess would be a fun way of exacting his revenge.<br/>	He got to go first, since he was playing with the white pieces. <br/>	They went several moves without saying a word, but Ann eventually drummed up a conversation, “So… What’s your roommate like?” She asked.<br/>	He shrugged, “He’s an asshole,” He said.<br/>	She snorted, “I think you’re a pot calling the kettle black here, but okay,” She said.<br/>	He rolled his eyes, “No need for the adjectives, Pigtails,” He said. <br/>	She glared at him, “Anyways, my roommate is pretty nice. She’s quiet. I think her name was… Mona? I don’t know. She’s barely said two words to me,” She said.<br/>	Jay laughed, “Funny, Stephen hasn’t stopped talking,” He said.<br/>	The two laughed, the tense mood lightening considerably. <br/>	“Do you have any other friends around here?” Jay asked.<br/>	“What, you don’t have any?” Ann teased.<br/>	Jay flipped her off while simultaneously taking her bishop.<br/>	She looked down with a comically shocked look on her face, “Dammit!” She cursed, “You distracted me!”<br/>	He shrugged, “You let yourself get distracted,”<br/>	She grumbled, but made her move, “I do in fact have friends, you know. I’m good friends with some girls named Shai, Mona, and Pau, and a guy named Joe,” She said.<br/>	Jay’s eyes widened, “I met a Joe today. Does he by any chance look like Deku from BNHA?” He asked.<br/>	She laughed, “Well, would you look at that. You know him too. Did he offer you weed in the first five seconds of meeting you?” She asked.<br/>	He nodded, “Yeah,” He said.<br/>	She sighed with exasperation, “Sorry about that. He does that to everyone he meets. I keep telling him it’s going to get him in trouble someday, but does he ever listen to me? No! Please don’t report him, he’s a good kid, really,” She said.<br/>	He shook his head, “No, no, no. Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to tell anyone,” He promised.<br/>	Ann grinned, “Good. Cause if you did, I’d have to kill ya!” She said.<br/>	Jay laughed a bit, “Noted. Also, checkmate,” He said, moving his final piece.<br/>	She looked down, shocked, “No shit,” She said, her expression turning crestfallen, “Dang it,” She said.<br/>	Jay smiled, “Hey, I know this is sudden, but can I have your number. I could use a fellow somewhat sane person as a friend,” He said.<br/>	She laughed, “Sure, I’d like to meet this Stephen you’ve been talking about. I think he could make a good addition to our group. Oh. You too I guess,” She said. <br/>	He rolled his eyes, “Thanks. You know what, here’s my number,” He said, handing her a scrap of paper with his cellphone number scrawled on it.<br/>	She took it and entered it into her phone, “Your handwriting sucks,” She said.<br/>	He sighed, “No one asked you,” He said wearily.<br/>	“Well, as fun as this evening has been, I have to go,” Jay said, standing up.<br/>	Ann waved at him as he left, “Bye, Asshole!” She shouted.<br/>	He rolled his eyes, “We’re in a library, dumbass,” He reminded her. <br/>	Sure enough, her words were followed by a chorus of shushes. He laughed a bit as he left the library.<br/>	He thought about the two people he’d met today, and had to wonder, were there no normal people in this college? <br/>	He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the green haired guy until it was too late. He ran straight into the guy, “Ow! What the fudge!” The guy yelped.<br/>	Jay’s eyes widened, “Sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Are you okay?” He asked.<br/>	The guy nodded, “I’m fine. I’m Daniel, by the way! Who are you?” He asked. <br/>	“I’m Jay. If you’re not hurt at all, I have to get going. See you around,” He said, turning to leave.<br/>	“Wait!” He cried.<br/>	Jay turned around, “What?” He asked.<br/>	“I, uh… Can’t find my dorm,” He admitted.<br/>	Jay blinked, “Excuse me, what? What do you mean you can’t find it? It’s your dorm!” He pointed out.<br/>	“I mean I can’t find it! I’ve looked everywhere, but I can’t remember where it is,” He said.<br/>	He sighed, “Well, is there anyone you can call who knows where your dorm is? I don’t have all day,”<br/>	Normally he wouldn’t be so short with someone he just met, but he had just had the longest day of his life. Cut the man some slack.<br/>	Dan took out his phone, “I guess I could call Elias. But he told me that if I interrupted his tutoring session again, he’d dangle me out the window,” He said.<br/>	“That’s not my problem. Call him,” Jay said.<br/>	He tried to turn on his phone, but it didn’t work, “Crap! It’s dead,” He said.<br/>	Jay sighed, knowing where this was going.<br/>	Daniel looked at him pleadingly, “Can I borrow your phone?” He asked after a second.<br/>	For a minute, Jay considered refusing. But that would probably just take longer. <br/>	He nodded, “Fine. What’s his number?” He asked.<br/>	Dan frowned, “Can’t I call him?”<br/>	Jay looked at him like he was crazy, “Do you really think I’m going to let a complete stranger have my phone? I wasn’t born yesterday, buddy. What’s his number?”<br/>	Dan sighed and gave it to him. He dialed it and the guy picked up on the third ring, “Hello?” <br/>	“Is this Elias?” He asked.<br/>	“Yeah, why? Who are you?” <br/>	“Um, My name’s Jay. I’m calling for your roommate, Daniel. He got lost, so if you could come pick him up, that would be great,” He said.<br/>	The guy sighed, “Again? What did I tell him about interrupting me when I’m tutoring? Where are you?” He asked.<br/>	Jay told him where they were.<br/>	“Great. Tell him I’ll be there in five minutes. Hey Gavin!” He called, probably to the person he was tutoring. <br/>	Jay heard a muffled response.<br/>	“I’m sorry! I have to go pick up my brother!” He said.<br/>	Another reply that he couldn’t make out.<br/>	“I know the test in two days. We’ll study more tomorrow, I promise!” Elias said.<br/>	One last reply.<br/>	“Thanks for understanding, Gavin! See you tomorrow. Hey, Jay?” He asked.<br/>	“Yeah?” He replied.<br/>	“Would you mind watching Dan so he doesn’t wander off?” He asked.<br/>	Jay was annoyed, “What am I, a babysitter?” He asked.<br/>	“I won’t be long. I just know if he thinks I’ll yell at him, he’ll run off somewhere and we’ll have a new mess on our hands. It’s honestly a miracle he hasn’t been kidnapped yet,” Elias said.<br/>	Jay raised an eyebrow, “Are you going to yell at him?” He asked.<br/>	“Oh, definitely. I just don’t want him to run off before I get the chance,” He said.<br/>	Jay laughed a bit, “I get little siblings. Don’t worry, I’ll watch your brother for you,” He promised.<br/>	Elias snorted, “I’m the younger one, actually,” He said.<br/>	Jay was surprised, “Huh. Hey, do you mind if I keep your number? I’ve been meaning to make some friends around here, and you seem relatively sane,” He said.<br/>	“Sure, I don’t care. See you later, Jay,” He said.<br/>	“Bye,” Jay was barely able to get in his response before Elias hung up.<br/>	Dan was watching anxiously, “Is he mad?” He asked.<br/>	He snorted, “He’s not happy. He says he’ll be here in five minutes,” He said. <br/>	Dan groaned, “Who was he tutoring?” He asked, sounding hopeful. <br/>	“Someone named Gavin? I don’t know, why?” He asked.<br/>	 “I’m doomed,” Daniel moaned, “Eli hates it when I interrupt his classes, but he always gets extra mad when it’s Gavin,” He said.<br/>	Jay raised an eyebrow, “Why is that?” He asked.<br/>	He shrugged, “No clue,” He said.<br/>	The conversation lapsed into silence as Jay began thinking about his first day. So far, he had met a drug dealer, a rude gremlin, an idiot, and a somewhat sane brother. Who knows what would happen to him next? At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if he met a serial killer. <br/>	He thought back to the origin of his meeting all these random people. If only he had just walked in on Samantha and Stephen’s date. That would’ve been a lot easier to deal with than this. <br/>	He was startled out of his thoughts when Dan said something.	<br/>	He didn’t hear whatever his question was, “Sorry, what?” He asked.<br/>	Dan repeated himself, “What’s your major?” He asked.<br/>	“Mining Engineering,” Jay said, “You?”<br/>         His eyes widened, “No way! Same! Oh my god, I just realized where I’ve seen you before! I think we’re in the same calculus class. You were sitting with Joe, right?” He asked.<br/>         Jay was surprised, “Yeah, do you know him?” He asked.<br/>         Dan laughed, “Know him? We’ve been friends forever! Along with Annabelle, Pau, Shai, and Mona of course. We’re best friends!” He declared.<br/>         Jay raised an eyebrow, “Really? I met Annabelle earlier, and she didn’t mention you once,” He said.<br/>         Dan waved him off, “I’m sure she just forgot. We’ve got a lot of friends here. It happens all the time,” He said.<br/>         He snorted, “Sure,”<br/>         Dan grinned, “Are you part of the group chat yet?” He asked.<br/>         Jay shook his head and Dan immediately gave him the number, “Here! I’m sure Ann would’ve added you anyways,” He said.<br/>         Jay looked at the group chat, “Thanks,” He said, “She also told me to invite my roommate, Stephen? Is that okay?” He asked.<br/>         “Stephen? Does he have a purple mohawk? Is his last name Ng?” He asked.<br/>         Jay frowned suspiciously, “Yeah. How did you know?” He asked.<br/>         He beamed, “No way! The two of us used to be friends when we were kids! His family moved when Eli and I were in middle school. I didn’t think I’d get to see him again. I thought Gavin’s last name was just a coincidence, but he really is the same one!” He rambled.<br/>         Jay frowned, “What about Gavin?” He asked.<br/>         “He’s Stephen’s little brother! Really nice guy. Elias likes him a lot,” Dan informed him.<br/>         Huh. So Stephen’s little brother happened to be the guy that Dan’s little brother tutors? Wow. What a small world he lived in.<br/>         Before he could say anything else, he saw a car on the road, “Oh. I think that’s your brother. See you around,” He said.<br/>         Dan waved cheerfully, “Bye!”<br/>         He got in the car, and Jay could just barely hear Elias chastise him as they drove away. He smirked. At least he met one normal person today.<br/>         He walked back to his dorm. When he reached it, he opened the door and headed for his bed, flopping down on the mattress.<br/>         Stephen greeted him cheerfully, “Hey, Jay! Where have you been?” He asked.<br/>         Jay groaned and pressed a pillow over his face, “Don’t talk to me,” He mumbled.<br/>         Stephen decided to leave him alone, and Jay set the pillow on his chest, staring at the ceiling.<br/>         He knew now more than ever that this year would be nothing like ever before. <br/>         And for the first time, he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh my god, they were roommates.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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